Sunday, March 20, 2011

Humor: Cat bathing



In case you did not know!

How to give your guard cat a bath

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl ...

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him or her while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'Power-Wash' and 'Rinse' all in one.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people standing between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself or herself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Old Navy. New Navy.


Then and Now

Then - If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now - If you smoke, you get sent outside and treated like a leper, if you’re lucky.

Then - Mail took weeks to come to the ship.
Now - Every time you get near land, there's a mob topside to see if their cell phones work.

Then - If you left the ship it was in Blues or Whites, even in home port.
Now - The only time you wear Blues or Whites is for ceremonies.

Then - You wore bell bottoms everywhere on the ship.
Now - bell bottoms are gone and 14 year-old girls wear them everywhere.

Then - You wore a Dixie cup all day, with every uniform.
Now - It's not required and you have a choice of different hats.

Then - If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now - If you say "damn" you'd better be talking about a hydro electric plant.

Then - The Ships Office yeoman had a typewriter on his desk for doing daily reports.
Now - Everyone has a computer with Internet access and they wonder why no work is getting done.

Then - We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
Now - We put the real thing in the cockpit.

Then - Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now - She is on the same ship, praying your condom worked.

Then - If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the ship so you could sleep it off.
Now - If you get drunk off duty, they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.

Then - Canteens were made out of steel and you could heat coffee or hot Chocolate in them.
Now - Canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat them because they'll melt, and anything
inside always tastes like plastic.

Then - Our top officers were professional sailors first. They commanded respect.
Now - Our top officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a Wedgie.

Then - They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now - They collect our pee and analyze it.

Then - If you didn't act right, they'd put you on extra duty until you straightened up.
Now - If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you Forever.

Then - Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now - Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

Then - You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now - You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.

Then - You ate in a Mess Hall or Galley. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
Now - You eat in a Dining Facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.

Then - If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.
Now -You go to the Community Center and can still play pool, maybe.

Then - If you wanted a quarter beer and conversation, you could go to the Chief's or Officers' Club.
Now - The beer will cost you three dollars and someone is watching to see how much you drink.

Then - The Exchange had bargains for sailors who didn't make much money.
Now - You can get better merchandise and cheaper at Wal-Mart.

Then - If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he scribbled down some notes and a YN spent an hour preparing a bunch of charts.
Now - The Admiral has his entire staff spending days preparing a Power Point Presentation.

Then - We called the enemy things like "Commie Bastards" and "Reds" because we didn't like them.
Now - We call the enemy things like "Opposing Forces" and "Aggressors or Insurgents" so we won't offend them.

Then - We declared victory when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now - We declare victory when the enemy says he is sorry and won't do it again.

Then - A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now - A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

Note from the sender: Thank God I was in the "Old Navy." And proud of it.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Zodiac

Signs of the zodiac

Once you have opened this, there is no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs. Read your sign and then forward it on, with your zodiac sign on the subject line. This is the real deal, try ignoring or changing it and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day, starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want. 20 years of good luck if you forward.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of luck if you forward.

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of good luck if you forward.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of good luck if you forward.

TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of good Luck if you forward

GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20)
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted.. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive. [Author left out humble.] 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - OCT 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser.. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out

Send away!!~ Ready, set, go!

1-3 people = 1 minute of luck
4-7 people = 1 hour of luck
8-12 people = 1 day of luck
13-17 People = 1 week of luck
18-22 people = 1 month of luck
23-27 people = 3 Months of luck
28-32 people = 7 months of luck
13-17 people = 1 week of luck

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Obama budget features

2012 Obama Budget Features

More ObamaCare waviers. 126 new waivers now total 1,040. Among the shoe-string budget firms that can’t afford to meet Obamacare requirements are Teamsters Union, United Food and Commercial Workers International Union, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, Communications Workers of America, Service Employees International Union, and Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which counts among its board members Obamacare Czar Nancy-Ann DeParle. 3/7/11

$ $ $ $ $
Giving the budget numbers some perspective = 7,894 years

The Undocumented One's $3.73 trillion dollar budget for 2012 will provide "toilet paper" for 300 million people [approximate US population] for 7,894 years at 21 rolls of toilet paper used [The History Channel 2/18/11] per person per year. That is a lot of sh ... er ... paper to flush down the crapper, which is where our money is headed with this massive Democrat debt. Of course, in parts of the globe, the left hand is still the primary means of cleaning up after one's self. Interestingly enough, TUO is lefthanded. Take that information for what it is worth.
$ $ $ $ $

The $3.73 trillion dollar budget will be the largest budget in U.S. history. And it will cost each American a whopping $12,000!

Obama's Slick Budget Gimmicks

• Redefining Pell grants as mandatory spending. If you get rid of this trick, discretionary spending rises by $14 billion in 2012.

• Calling $54 billion dollars of surface transportation spending mandatory spending.

• Reclassifying spending for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan as discretionary spending instead of "overseas contingency operations." In reality Obama's budget reduces funding for defense by $38.2 billion in 2012.

Obama wants to use $58 billion dollars (that's more than half the defense budget he'll cut) to build a high speed bullet train! Even though almost no one rides trains anymore, (except for Amtrak-enthusiast Joe Biden,) Obama wants to reconstruct an 18th century invention to be used as a symbol of American dedication and innovation.

• Will raise the top marginal income tax rate (at which a majority of small business profits face taxation) from 35% to 39.6%. This is a $709 billion/10 year tax hike

• Will raise the capital gains and dividends rate from 15% to 20%

• Will raise the death tax rate from 35% to 45% and lowering the death tax exemption amount from $5 million ($10 million for couples) to $3.5 million. This is a $98 billion/ten year tax hike.

• Will cap the value of itemized deductions Americans at the 28% tax bracket rate can make. This will cut tax deductions for mortgage rates, charitable contributions, property taxes, state and local income or sales taxes, out-of-pocket medical expenses, and unreimbursed employee business expenses.

• Will raise new bank taxes totaling $33 billion over ten years.

Republicans have proposed a plan to fund the government to the end of the year that will reduce spending $61 billion from 2010 levels and $100 billion from what Obama's $3.7 trillion dollar budget.

Do you not think your Congressional Representatives in the House and Senate would like to hear how you feel this new Democrat spending program? You betcha!

Was Economic Crisis Manufactured

Was the Economic Crisis Manufactured?
By Nancy Morgan, American Thinker
March 5, 2011

In the summer of 2008 as McCain and Obama were in the midst of their campaigns to capture the presidency, a series of events dramatically changed the focus of the campaign from Iraq to the economy. From that point on, Obama took the lead and eventually won the presidency.

Now, a full two years later, the Pentagon has issued a report on the series of events that led to the 2008 economic crash. Bill Gertz writes in the Washington Times:

Evidence outlined in a Pentagon contractor report suggests that financial subversion carried out by unknown parties, such as terrorists or hostile nations, contributed to the 2008 economic crash by covertly using vulnerabilities in the U.S. financial system

"There is sufficient justification to question whether outside forces triggered, capitalized upon or magnified the economic difficulties of 2008," the report says.

Notable for its absence is any suggestion that the economic events that arguably catapulted Obama into the White House may have originated in our own political system.

Consider: The economic house of cards started tumbling on June 26, 2008, when Senator Chuck Schumer leaked a memo questioning the solvency of IndyMac bank. This memo precipitated a run on IndyMac which led to its failure. Federal regulators pointedly cited U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., in explaining the bank's failure. "The immediate cause of the closing was a deposit run that began and continued after the public release of a June 26 letter to the OTS and the FDIC from Senator Charles Schumer of New York."

As I wrote in February of 2009, this event, coupled with the Lehman Brothers collapse in September, marked the beginning of the current economic meltdown and provided the environment that enabled Barack Obama to focus on the economy instead of his position on Iraq - and, not incidentally, resulted in his election as President.

For the last two years, the media has neglected to connect the dots regarding the strange gyrations in our financial markets that started in the summer of 2008. After Schumer caused the run on IndyMac in June, the government moved in:

July 12, 2008: The federal government takes control of the $32 billion IndyMac Bank. *

• Six months later, Jan 2, 2009, a seven-member group of investors agreed to buy the remnants of failed lender IndyMac for $13.9 billion. Other investors included a fund controlled by billionaire George Soros' Fund Management.

Sept. 6, 2008: Fannie Mae begins its downward spiral, which will end with a crash in November. This crash was avoidable, as the problems with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were identified in June of 2006, when 15 Republicans on the Senate Banking Committee introduced legislation to address the problem. Democrats, led by Barney Frank, killed the reform efforts.

Sept. 15, 2008: Obama and McCain are virtually tied in their race for the presidency. Out of no-where, in the space of less than 2 hours, the Federal Reserve noticed a tremendous drawdown of money market accounts in the U.S. to the tune of $550 billion. Rep. Paul Kanjorski ofPennsylvania said that if authorities had not closed the banks, $5.5 trillion would have been withdrawn from US banks, which would have caused the collapse of the US within 24 hours.

This seminal event marked the ascendancy of Obama's candidacy, and arguably resulted in his election as president.

Fast forward to February of 2009:

The markets reacted to Obama's proposal to bail-out mortgages and Senator Christopher Dodd's talk of nationalizing banks by reaching 11-year lows.

Obama continues to stoke the fears of imminent crisis, actually using the word 'crisis' a total of 26 times in one speech.

Enter George Soros. The infamous one-worlder, billionaire George Soros adds his voice to the media doomsayers by opining that the world financial system has effectively disintegrated, adding that there is yet no prospect of near-term resolution to the crisis.*

The series of 'inadvertent errors,' deliberate obstruction, political shenanigans, behind the scenes manipulation of the money markets and non-stop calls for immediate infusions of taxpayer cash brought the U.S. to its knees by February 2009. And continues to this day.

The newly issued Pentagon report, along with the media and our elected officials, seem intent on not connecting the dots, considering only foreign enemies as the possible cause of the financial meltdown:

Suspects include financial enemies in Middle Eastern states, Islamic terrorists, hostile members of the Chinese military, or government and organized crime groups in Russia, Venezuela orIran. Chinese military officials.

This author believes there is enough information to at least consider that this crisis was manufactured for political gain. Right here at home.

Nancy Morgan is a columnist and news editor for conservative news site RightBias.com. She lives in South Carolina.

26 Comments on "Was the Economic Crisis Manufactured?"

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Humor: Senior moment


A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Campaign to Defeat Obama


To Save America, We Must Dethrone King Obama
By Lloyd Marcus
March 3/5/11

Incredibly, Obama continues to boldly go where no other president has gone before. Apparently, none of the rules apply to him. Without consequence, at will, Obama ignores laws and the Constitution to implement his progressive/socialist agenda.

America's first black president has morphed into America's first king. All hail King Obama, our supreme ruler. Think about this folks, King Obama has put together his royal court of an unprecedented 32 czars who only answer to him. His czars consist of people who have socialist and communist leanings, many simply do not like America. King Obama's czars, without congressional over sight, set new rules and regulations for our lives; boldly ignoring laws and the U.S. Constitution.

Given Obama's unprecedented government overreaches, when we vote him out in 2012, will His Royal Obamaness surrender the Oval Office? Just kidding. Such a concern is a bit over the top. Right? Right?

Meanwhile, displaying an amazing total disregard for the sanctity of freedom, guess who cheers on Obama's every unprecedented lawless "power grab" and dis of the Constitution; the despicable liberal media.

Most of the mainstream media are liberals promoting their progressive/socialist agenda while calling it journalism. A liberal black presidential candidate was their dream come true. Obama's skin color was a gift from the liberal gods; the ultimate political trump card.

The Left exploits Obama's black skin color as their "Weapon of Mass Intimidation"; a coat of armor insulating him from all opposition and reasonable critique.

Any supplicant daring to question or oppose His Royal Obamaness is forced to endure the liberal media's "shock and awe" battery of accusations of racism and violent intentions.

Is it unfair to say Obama governs more like our king rather than our president? You be the judge.

Obamacare was ruled unconstitutional by a federal judge. King Obama basically said "screw that! I'm implementing it anyway".

DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) is the law. King Obama said in effect, "I don't like that law and we are not defending its copnstitutionality."

A federal ruling said King Obama's deep offshore drilling moratorium in Louisiana is illegal and ordered it lifted. Again, King Obama simply ignored the federal ruling.

Federal immigration law is much tougher than Arizona's new Law. The Arizona law says if someone is stopped for a traffic violation or suspected of a crime, they must show proper ID. Well duh! All Americans are required to show ID in such situations. King Obama wants members of a special ethnic group to be protected from such inquiry. Thus, King Obama has declared the Arizona law racist and is suing Arizona for enforcing "federal law". King Obama views illegals as potential future new Democrat voting supplicants.

King Obama wants to force health workers to perform abortions whether they like it or not. The "Conscience Rule" protects health workers who refuse to participate in abortions or other medical procedures that go against their moral and religious beliefs. King Obama is working on rescinding that law.

If we have learned nothing else from the passing of Obamacare against the will of 70% of the American people we learned, legal processes be damned, whatever King Obama wants, King Obama gets.

And, let us not forget that King Obama fired the CEO and took over a private sector auto company. Thus, the birth of King Obama Motors.

And what about King Obama's seige of the banking industry. After accepting TARP money, a bank chairman read the tea leaves of things to come; government running his business and dictating salaries. He requested to pay back the TARP money with interest. King Obama denied the bank chairman's request and threatened "adverse" consequences if he persisted.

The new Black Panther Party is guilty of voter intimidation in Philadelphia. King Obama refuses to press charges against the new Black Panthers; now get this folks, because they are black. His royal enforcer, Attorney General, Eric Holder, who is black, told the House Appropriations subcommittee that the New Black Panther voter intimidation case demeans "my people."

Holder went on to explain that the suffering of African Americans seeking the right to vote in the South in the 60s far surpass the intimidation white voters recently endured in Philadelphia. So much for any pretense of King Obama dispensing equal justice to all Americans. We're talkin' Affirmative Action justice.

King Obama is systematically taking control of every aspect of our lives. Cramming Obamacare down our throats was a huge step toward achieving his goal. Please read: "20 Ways ObamaCare Will Take Away Our Freedoms"

Exempting themselves, liberals are notorious for making rules for us supplicants. Queen Michelle Obama recently feasted on high calorie greasy bar-b-que spareribs while seeking to federally mandate/regulate menus and portion sizes in schools, restaurants and etc.

Bottom line, King Obama is out of control. In 2012, We The People MUST raise up with pitchforks of votes to end King Obama's tyrannous reign. American as we know and love it could be lost. Defeat is not an option.

As Vice Chair of The Campaign to Defeat Obama in 2012, I sincerely covet your support. We are gathering "One Million People To Defeat Barack Obama 2012". Please join us! Click Here.