Conservatives versus Liberals

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If conservatives don't like guns, they don't buy one.
If liberals don't like guns, they want all guns outlawed.

If conservatives are vegetarians, they don't eat meat.
If liberals are vegetarians, they wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If conservatives see a foreign threat, they think about how to defeat their enemy.
Liberals wonder how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If conservatives are homosexual, they quietly lead their lives.
If liberals are homosexual, they demand legislated respect.

If conservatives are black or Hispanic, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If conservatives are down-and-out, they think about how to better their situation.
Liberals moan about who is going to take care of them.

If conservatives don't like a talk show host, they switch channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If conservatives are non-believers, they don't go to church.
Liberal non-believers want all mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If conservatives decide they need health care, they goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
Liberals demand that the rest of us pay for their health care.

If conservatives slip and fall in a store, they gets up, laugh and are embarrassed.
If liberals slip and fall, they grab their neck, moan like they are in labor and then sue.

If conservatives reads this, they will forward it so their friends so they can have a good laugh.
Liberals will delete it because they are "offended."