Humor: You might be an engineer if . . .

your favorite James Bond character is "Q"

you see a good design and still have to change it

you still own a slide rule and you know how to use it

you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

you think the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers

you think "cuddling" is simply an unproductive application of heat exchange

you have owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for

you make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath

you have trouble writing anything unless the paper has horizontal and vertical lines

your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

you think the value of a book is directly proportionate to the amount of tables, charts and graphs it contains

you have half-broken objects in your house that you refuse to throw away with the hope that you can someday fix them

you spend time looking at house hold products trying to devise a method for improvement

you actually buy technical books

you think that your way is the best way to do everything and constantly challenge ideas

you solder tools together to form new objects

you constantly inform people that ships in Star Wars should all be silent in space . . . and pick out other faults in movies regarding machines

you tell people that time travel is impossible . . . minutes later you think of how you would build a time machine.

you know "natural frequency" has nothing to do with bowel movements

you get angry when people won't let you fix things they've broken

you tried to build Transformer toys out of lego as a kid . . . and tried to invent various lego contraptions in the hope of making money

you beg everyone you know to call you "Scotty"

you can do vector calculus in your head, but you forgot how to do long division

you consider a databook "good reading" when you're on the toilet

the first thing you do with anything new is take it apart to see how it works

the last time you moved, you needed two dumpsters to haul off the scrap electrical parts from your work room.

you not only know what a left-handed constabulator is, but you designed one once, for fun

you paid more for math and science books during college than most people pay for tuition

the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

you window shop at Radio Shack

you the thought that a CD might refer to finance or to music never entered your mind

you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

you know the direction water swirls when you flush

you avoid doing anything because you don't wish to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe

when your professor asks where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentu so precisely that, according to Heisenberg, it could be ANYWHERE in the Universe

you would assume a "horse" to be a "sphere" in order to make the math easier

your IQ number is greater than your weight

you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

you spend more on your home computer than your car

you have a neatly sorted set of old nuts and bolts in your garage . . . if Dilbert is your hero

you can remember seven computer passwords but not your anniversary

your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work

you have more friends on the net than in real life

you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week

you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel and have seen most of the shows already

you think that when people around you yawn, they just didn't get enough sleep

you carry on a one hour debate over the results of a five minute test

you can mathematically prove that the World Series actually converges

it is sunny and 70ºF out, and you are working at the computer

you have no life . . . and you can PROVE it mathematically

you chuckle every time someone says "centrifugal force"

you can do vector calculus but can't remember how to do long division

you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function

the Humane Society brought charges against you because you ACTUALLY performed The Schrodinger Cat experiment

your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

AND it goes without saying, at Christmas time you will be the one to find the burned-out bulb in the string