Bad Day at the office

Subject: Bad Day at the office!!

This is even funnier when you realize that it actually happened . . . . !!

Next time you have a bad day, at work, think of this guy . . . . !!

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . . . . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs . . . . !!

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister because she had told him that she was having a hard time at work and nothing seemed to be going right . . . . !!

It just so happened that one of her local radio stations, 103.5 FM in Indiana, was sponsoring a "Worst Job Experience" contest . . . . she sent it to radio station . . . . Needless to say, she won . . . . Read his e-mail below . . . . !!

Hi Sharon,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother . . . . Last week I had a bad day at the office . . . . I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you, to make you realize that it's not so bad after all . . . . !!

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job . . . . As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea . . . . I wear a suit to the office . . . . It's a wet suit . . . . !!

At this time of year, the sea water is quite cool . . . . So what we do to keep warm is to use, a diesel powered, industrial water heater . . . . This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it, to a delightful temperature . . . . then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is secured to the air hose . . . . !!

What I do, when I get to the sea-floor to start working . . . . is to take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit . . . . This floods the whole suit with warm water . . . . It's like working in a Jacuzzi . . . . I've done this several time with no complaints . . . . !!

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch . . . . So, of course, I scratched it . . . . This only made things worse . . . . Within a few seconds my ass started to burn . . . . I pulled the hose out of the wet-suit but the damage was done . . . . !!

As I bore the agony and burning . . . . I realized what had happened . . . . The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it down the hose and into my wet-suit . . . . !!

Since I don't have any hair on my back . . . . the jellyfish couldn't stick to it . . . . however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate . . . . When I scratched what I thought was an itch . . . . I was actually grinding the jellyfish, even deeper into the crack of my ass . . . . !!

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator . . . . His instructions were unclear, due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing so hysterically . . . . Needless to say, I aborted the dive . . . .
I was instructed to make three agonizing "in-water" decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes . . . . before I could reach the surface to begin my "dry" chamber decompression . . . . !!

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet . . . . As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the "dry" chamber . . . . !!

The cream put the fire out . . . . but I couldn't shit for two days, because my ass was so swollen my butt-hole was shut . . . . !!

Next time you're having a bad day at work . . . . think about how much worse it would be . . . . if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass . . . . !!

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job .... I love my job .... I love my job .... !!'

Whenever you're having a bad day, ask yourself . . .  Is this a jellyfish, bad day??

May you NEVER have a jellyfish, bad day!!

Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . but it's still a gift!!

Source: An email going around.